These moods are ephemeral, so I will enjoy while it lasts. I like where things are headed. I like my job. I like my friends. I like my co-workers. I have a good apartment with a good roommate.
I enjoy living in Boise. It’s so strange that I could find pleasure in such a slow moving environment. No beach, no huge malls. Still though, everyone is nice. Crime is low. People are not as stuck up or plastic. Most people here have lived here all their life. They have no idea what it’s like anywhere else.
I was the same way before I moved out of California. I thought that big city, beach bums, homeless hagglers and gang fights was all that life was. I was wrong. If only people out here knew that what they see at the movies or on TV is not so far off from reality.
Tomorrow is a new day with new challenges. I look forward to them all. Tonight I feel good.
Call it a lesson in sociology. As a way to help gauge my performance as a team leader I decided today to hand out feedback forms to my current team. Today was my last day with them, as I will be moving on to another team tomorrow. I figured it would be a great way to get honest feedback and improve my leadership style. I genuinely crave good constructive feedback. This was my second team since I was made team leader and my first team in the ACDT call type. I know I have made many mistakes. I have learned so much since I was first upgraded. The learning, I am sure, will never wane.
I expected too get a lot attacks on my “micro managing” and dogmatic coaching. Instead I received a lot of unexpected compliments and constructive feedback. Most explained how they appreciated my openness and humor. They explained how they valued my willingness to help out in any situation, even when I was busy. They appreciated how I made sure we had fun every day. I was really impressed with the level of feedback I received. A lot of my team members even cited examples and gave ways they think I could improve. They were all very specific and simple suggestions. I greatly appreciated all feedback.
Except for one.
One of my team members said I was rude, unapproachable, condescending and had a poor management style. That was pretty much the gist of it. No examples. No suggestions. That is not constructive criticism. That is destructive criticism, and I must say I took it pretty harshly, as I am sure was this person’s intent.
People, whom know me, know that I am not those aforementioned things. I am very approachable. In fact I had several comments on other feedback forms that pointed out how my approachability was an asset to my leadership. I am sure that my dry sarcasm can come off as rude and sometimes condescending. It is a perception issue that I agree I need to work on. This perception is usually fixed by talking to me for about 5 minutes. People who work with me have learned to appreciate this humor; however I will admit that not everyone has bought into it. Apparently the person who filled out the destructive feedback form is not a fan of my work.
This brings me to a revelation. Perception is paramount. We all have perceptions of everyone. Have you ever stopped to consider how accurate that perception is? What is the perception of the person in the office next to yours? How about the person who just cut you off on the freeway? How about the elderly woman behind the counter in a small town?
What are thier perceptions of you?
On the road of life one can travel millions of miles. To traverse this distance sanely one must have a companion; someone to tell you to “Watch Out!” when an obstacle fast approaches; someone to hum the tune of that song of which neither could remember the lyrics. Yes a companion would be nice. I walk alone.
Don’t get me wrong. I have the strength given to me by Him who saved me. He has given me a great deal of courage and comfort. I thank God every day for what He has done in my life. And I have a wonderful family. I love all of them, including my new step family. I have even made some decent friends in Idaho.
But I need a companion; someone to share my fears and my desires; someone who’s life reflects the music she creates just by sharing a single thought. It is an impossible search. The perfect relationship is a chirping canary in the mineshaft of despair.